Community, Not Cops, Will Save Our City Streets
To care for each other is to protect and serve
“Hey, Google — what time is it?” I asked.
“It’s 4:42am,” Google Home answered plainly.
Great. I laid upstairs in bed, abruptly awakened by two belligerent male voices hollering at each other. They seemed to be just below my window in the courtyard of my Long Beach condo complex. I kept perfectly still, hoping this would somehow will away the ruckus. 10 minutes passed. The fighting continued. I went downstairs to my living room, taking with me the wooden bat that my ex-husband left me for self-defense. I crouched by the corner windows to get a better listen of the fight.
“I love you, but you need to go home!” I heard amidst the yelling.
At this, I decided to see how I could diffuse the situation. Before going outside, I fumbled with the bat and attempted to conceal it under my pj’s, but it was too ungainly. Instead, I pocketed my phone in case it felt necessary to call the police. (Though surely, a neighbor had called them already). I made my way to the courtyard with caution.
From the foot of my steps, I peered around the courtyard. Nobody in sight. I followed the voices. Just beyond the entry gate of the complex, I found two Friends in their 20s — one Drunk, one (relatively) Sober. I took a deep breath, stepped outside the gate, and shut it behind me.
“Hey, is everything okay? You need any help?” I inquired. “You guys woke me up. And there are a lot of families around here.”
The Sober Friend apologized. He explained that he was trying to take care of his Drunk Friend who clearly could not drive home. Drunk Friend wavered between threatening and laughing. He stumbled and flailed around like an inflatable figure at a car dealership. I offered them both water. Sober Friend politely declined.
I went back in anyway and brought out two folding chairs, two packets of trail mix, and my last two bottles of water. It took some coaxing, but Sober Friend and I managed to get Drunk Friend to sit down with us, eat bits of trail mix, and take sips of water. I hung out with them for the next 45 minutes to make sure they didn’t cause any more of a scene.
Over that 45 minutes, I made small talk with Drunk Friend best I could. I asked him whereabouts did he live; who he had been partying with; which flavors of Truly he drank that night — anything to redirect him from yell-fighting with his Sober Friend. I learned that they’d gone out with their homies to Dave and Buster’s for Sober Friend’s birthday. Afterward, they tried sobering up at their Local Friend’s house on the other end of my street. Understandably, Local Friend kicked out Drunk Friend, which is how he and Sober Friend ended up on my doorstep. And I how ended up taking this selfie at 5:30am on the same day I co-hosted the Demystifying Duo Improv class show. (It went well btw!)
Long Beach PD did roll up at some point. As the flashing lights came closer, Sober Friend pleaded with Drunk Friend to be quiet. The white Officer rolled down his driver side window and called out to us three brown law-abiding citizens sitting on the sidewalk in flimsy Jeff chairs from IKEA. He questioned us about any fighting going on.
“Nah, we’re all good here!” I yelled over.
“We got a call about a fight,” the Officer probed. “Right in front of this building.”
“All good,” I reiterated.
“I think they went that way,” Sober Guy chimed in, gesturing to the other end of the street. All the while, Drunk Friend muttered quietly to no one in particular.
The Officer went on his way. I let Sober Guy know that’s why I came out here and why I stayed — I didn’t want anyone to deal with the cops if they didn’t need to.
“Long Beach cops can suck a dick,” Drunk Friend laughed after the Officer drove off.
“I’ll put that on a sign for the next protest I go to,” I joked.
Once everything had settled down, I encouraged them to head home. Drunk Friend began singing “Yellow Submarine” as he threw his arms around my and Sober Friend’s shoulders. Sober Friend thanked me profusely.
“You had absolutely no obligation to help us,” Sober Friend acknowledged. He shared that he’d been to jail before, but Drunk Friend had never been to jail. He didn’t want Drunk Friend to end up there that night. I told him that he’s a good person and a good friend for taking care of his Drunk Friend on his own birthday.
They went home, and I went back to bed.
To be clear, I do NOT advise charging headlong into a random conflict with reckless abandon. What I do suggest is making a quick assessment and, provided that it’s safe to do so, proceeding with an assertive intent to de-escalate the situation.
In earnest, I absolutely believe that performing and teaching improv equips me with a social-emotional skill set to handle crisis situations such as this one right in front of my own home.
Improv is a practice that exercises:
awareness
listening
empathy
These three strengths are why I had the wherewithal to engage Drunk Friend and Sober Friend the way I did. I saw them not as threats to my safety, but as two people who just needed some support. In improviser terms, they were two scene partners I could’ve easily labeled as criminals, but decided to label as friends.
If we can all take a moment to rethink our labels, then my hope is that we can all build a world that leans less on inhumane carceral systems and more on community-centered care.
🎼 Signing Off with a Song
"Yellow Submarine" by The Beatles
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Contact Wendy
Glad to connect! You can reach me via such internet platforms as: Email, Instagram, Twitter, and my Website.